No tags yet.
"These cheesy movies are killing me!"
“These cheesy movies are killing me but I have no choice but to watch them all….” said my friend Fred at the age of 17 when we were in college, drunk at the time and he started to tear up after watching 10 cheesy movies in a row for his film review assignment that was due the day after. We have all watched cheesy movies, of course - they are everywhere there is no way to escape, but I mean, at least we can laugh about it and just stop watching it (or never again!). Fred wasn’t as lucky as we are since he was a film student at the time and was forced to watch 50 movies to write his reviews, so literally he has nowhere to escape! Here are the top 10 cheesy plots/patterns that made teenage Fred cried all night (with his drunk comments on why):
Protagonist never dies!! Or at least earlier in the movie?! (why can’t they just die and the movie can just ended here!!)
Stop loving that bad boy just because he is rich, Lucy!! (what about Peter who was always with you in your down time?)
Oh my god please use that first hour efficiently and not to squeeze all the important plots in the last 30mins. (Give that one hour time back to me!)
Where are you running to? Why are you always running, in the night street, the forest, the maze, the hallway, the…. (and the scene gets cut off without revealing the purpose or the destination?)
You should have told her you love her before all these plots happened!!! (this is what you get if you just keep waiting and waiting, dude.)
The rich fat old man loses all his property at the end. (I mean yes that makes me feel better but I ALREADY KNEW it when he first showed up)
Not all heros are Mr. perfect… stop fooling the kids! (Batman hits Robin so many times, all the Robins!)
If you are a regular cop should you not be capable all in a sudden to defend aliens? (otherwise why would we need X-files and Ghostbusters??)
You don’t just “fall in love” with someone you met a day before just because he claims that he can hear some voice you cannot. (Because this just does not make sense to me, what have your parents been tellin you??)
If you don’t like Christmas please just quit being Santa or the Elf, stop ruining my childhood imagination! (Why should you be an elf working for Santa if you don’t believe who Santa is?)
I asked Fred recently if he remembers this, and replied me in a text saying “I told you I would never ever comment on those movies anymore in the rest of my life, Jason.”, I take that as he remembers and the permanent damage he received that night. He won't let me name the movies but you guys can guess. Not all of them are that bad, some of them are cheesy but also funny to watch, name some of the ones you like and maybe I can bring hope to my friend again.